Easy secret steps to living a happier life

I woke up this morning, fully energised and ready to write today's blog post.
Once I made myself a cup of tea, I sat down on my bed and opened my laptop to begin writing.
Then not even 10 minutes later, I reached for the remote control for the Tv to play something in the background while I'm working.
I began scrolling through the recommendations for me on Netflix. I found myself searching through all the potentials for a while but then I just run back to my all-time favourite show, Friends.
Before even pressing that play button on the remote, I stopped myself and quickly grabbed my laptop to check the time. Yes, I knew it felt long. I was browsing for almost an hour.
I knew if put on Friends now, there won't be any writing done today that's for sure.

I knew if I put something on as background noise, I won't be as focused as I should be and I will end up typing some words up one after another, and they won't even make any sense. So I will have to go back and start everything all over.
Writing requires a lot of attention and effort, and I know if I have Friends or any other of my favourites on I won't be putting 100% into my work. I will end up watching the show, making a cuppa one after another and I will just have the laptop under my fingers as a place to rest them.
Then after spending hours "working" I will just complain to myself, to Carl and to all of my friends that I couldn't get the post done today.

I know all this, and I know this about myself. I'm entirely aware of my bad habit. Even though I'm great at multitasking, I'm terrible at it when it comes to writing.
But from times to time, I still try to fool myself "this time it will be different", but not today not this time.
If I'm keep coming up with excuses and lying to myself that won't do any good for me, not now and not in the future.
The only thing I will reach with this is that I won't be able to be the person I want to be.
This moment made me realise that what is self-awareness and that I'm on the right pathway to gain full knowledge of my own character.

There are plenty of other examples I can bring up to try to explain self-awareness a bit easier.
Let's take another example of mine before we jump into deep thoughts.

We are all in this together, and we all currently going through some sort of struggles.
It's heart-wrenching to see that all these beautiful countries being torn apart bit by bit due to the virus.
It's even worse to see people losing their faith in a better future.
As I wrote this in my previous post, How we spend our time while staying at home, click here to read it.
I know that people have more severe difficulties than not able to travel, and this might seems to be a low priority now, but this was our entire plan for 2020.
I'm very aware that life doesn't necessarily mirror the image we have in mind and doesn't always turn out how we planned or expected.
If that happens, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone with that aching feeling in my heart.
Life is full of surprises and sometimes even though it doesn't also come close to the image we all had in mind, it doesn't mean its bad.
I'm not living the life I imagined when I was younger, but I certainly wouldn't change it.

I know that trying to force a smile or optimistic thoughts while you feeling blue after any significant life event or during these rough times can be hard.
No matter how dire a situation maybe remember that you always have a choice.
The choice to either panic or take control.
I learnt about myself that when something doesn't go as I planned, I panic for a minute, then I feel blue.
Once I acknowledge the disappointment, I start to doubt myself and everything I do.
I end up feeling like a complete failure.
I chose to panic many times before and I let the panic feed on my mind and body.
It's just got stronger and stronger.
I started to gain weight, felt demotivated and nothing like myself.

What I began to realise is that I need to deal with this or I will turn grey before 30 for sure.
When I look back at myself when I was younger, I can clearly see that I knew how to smile even after the last piece of the puzzle didn't fit.
I wanted that again in my life.
So one day, while I was sitting in the dining room, I was looking out of my head and thinking.
The problem was not me just the way I was reacting to the situation.
I assessed my situation from an objective standpoint, and I clearly saw what the problem was.
I can't control everything and everyone.
There's freedom in letting go of expectations and letting go of control.
I'm a stubborn and difficult woman as some might say, I'm proud of that, but this time I wasn't in the right.
I recognised the problem, and I knew that this is my time to start of fresh.
No, certainly not talking about editing myself, no.
I just promised to myself that I'm going to learn from my mistakes and look at everything with a more positive mindset.
Let all those sad feelings behind, don't let it to overtake my emotions and to see my situation in a perspective way.
Stay positive, and end the panic then and there.
Don't get me wrong here I have never been a pessimistic person I am more likely to be realistic with everything but with a pinch of doubt.

 This is where self-awareness comes into place.
I recognised no matter how sad it is to admit that I have, but I have bad traits too.
I needed to stop fantasising about the fact that I can control everything and that nothing can surprise me.
Life keeps leading us down new paths where we would never travel if it were up to us.
Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realise you're headed towards a new and exciting destination.
To look at things at the brighter sides and failures as new, different opportunities.

 So I made a plan. A plan to remove that pinch of doubt out of my life and every negative belief I had about myself.
Let's face it every good thing starts with a plan. Like when my best friend and I had a plan to steal my dad's car to drive to a party when none of us had a driving license. Guess what turned out to be one of the best night of that summer.
See, just because of that plan. By the way, I'm so sorry about that, dad.

This also could lead you back to the beginning.
Once you have a plan that doesn't work out, you will feel disappointed and find yourself doing nothing at all or behaving in ways like never before.
This is why it is always good to have plan A, B, C because you have a higher chance for one of them to work. Right?

You might be thinking that it's easier said than it's done and you more undoubtedly right.
It's hard, and it is a long process to recognise bad traits about ourselves and to deal with them.
It's even harder to stand back on our feet during a crisis while bad things are just coming at you with breakneck speed.
Believe when I say I get it. I have been there too.
Knowing life, there will be many challenges ahead of us all but remember that there is always a light at the end of that tunnel.
Always.
I found myself browsing through so many pages reading so much about life, other people's stories, struggles and their happy endings.
These all got me thinking about me and my life.
This is actually how I ended up writing this post—the secret to a happier life.
I found the key to my happy place, so I wanted to share with you all as I'm hoping to help you to find yours.
No time to waste after all these examples from my struggles, so let's jump right in.

What is self-awareness?

In the short term, it's simply is an awareness of the self. What makes me, you, her/him and identity unique.
The ability to monitor your emotions and thoughts from moment to moment.
Learn to accept who you are, discover your worth and abilities.
In other words, you will able to build healthy self-esteem.

 Right another word that I should explain before you head over to google and start searching for it.
We all have self-esteem, some of us might have low, and some of us might have a high amount of it.
The hard part is to have the right amount.
Self-awareness is connected to self-esteem in other word self -confidence.
 Self-esteem is what you think of yourself, have belief and confidence in your own value and ability.
If you have been criticised often before you might develop low self-esteem, if you have been praised in your entire life, you might have high self-esteem even if you do not deserve it.
I met people before who are the perfect fit for both of these examples.
This is also one of the reasons you need to learn to be aware of yourself, to have the right amount of self-confidence.

Why is it important to have self-awareness?

 Self-awareness can improve our self-esteem because we will know who we are and what we believe, which empowers us to move forward through life.
It's also important because it will help you to make better choices and decisions.
It influences us to notice if something needs to be altered in our lives or celebrated. In my case, I had to learn to be more open-minded and to have a positive mindset towards bad things too.
I had to learn not to beat myself up as that will not serve any good to me, and I will end up grey before my 30th birthday.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying to be a quitter, or I have become one.
NO WAY!
I still stand by my belief that learning and improving yourself is an essential piece of a successful, happy life.
Just that I have to learn to accept that I have weaknesses and bad traits.
To be at peace with who I'm.
Let me give you another example. 

I am not a morning person. I have tried for years to force myself into being a morning person.
This is how I ended up to like coffee, but even with that, my brain didn't want to work during the mornings.
Now I have finally accepted this, and I simply just adjusted my routine to fit my natural rhythm and my life. I'm also a night owl.
I always get the best work done in the late afternoon or during nighttime.
See, accepted, learnt from it and now my days are just better.

How can you learn self-awareness?

I can only comment on this from my own experience. I'm not pro at it.
This is all just my journey towards an even happier life.
Switch off your autopilot mood and pay attention inside and around you.
Monitor your emotions, behaviour and thoughts during different situations.
Take control and learn to gain the right amount of self-confidence.
Be at peace with yourself.
Make plans and goals to achieve.
Start small.
Don't beat yourself up.
This is a long journey, and you need to accept that.
Be open-minded, don't get comfortable and stuck in your comfort zone.
Take the criticism well.
Avoid defensiveness at all costs. No blaming, excuses and lies especially towards yourself.

These steps helped me to deal with life's challenges and diverse situations a lot better, even though I'm only at the beginning of my journey.
I feel more confident and happier because I monitor and control how not to be bogged down by bad emotions.
I feel more positive and open-minded.
My well-being is most certainly grateful for my decision, as I'm certainly feeling less stressful as before.
I gained so much from this journey already, and I cannot wait to explore all those blind spots in myself and my abilities.
All these small moments I mentioned in this post helped to find a way to meet myself.

The bottom line is that this was/is my struggle, and I wanted to share it with you all because let's be honest we love people's struggles as we feel more connected to them and feel better about ourselves as we are not alone.
This is precisely how I wanted to make you all feel, especially during these rough times.
I will say goodbye for now as I really want to put this episode of Friends on.
Stay safe. Love you all.